mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
