Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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