break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
