just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
