i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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