i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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