She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
