i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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