ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
