Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I would fuck him just for his dog
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
