Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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