i just had sex bonerless
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Randomize
