I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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