Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
