Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
