i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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