The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
