He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
