so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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