Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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