We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
