Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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