Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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