I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
