You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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