Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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