dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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