loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
