Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You ate ashes out of my bong
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
