I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
