all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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