It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
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I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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