I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize