It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Vodka?
Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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