Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize