I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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