He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
