We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
