I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
