If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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