I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
