I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
