i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
