theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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