Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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