I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Holy shit dude........stairs
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
