I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
