if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
