I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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