we have pet lesbian snakes
Buhtt sex?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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