You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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