Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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