You made me cry and you don't even care
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
