FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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