If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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