We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize