yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wish you could order shots online.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
