is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
