i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
