Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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