He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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