Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize