after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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