do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
